Am I a glutton for punishment?

Yes! I know I am, I don't even need to ask.....

So on Saturday, after spending all day cooped up in the house with wild kids and knowing I would have no chance of reprieve until 11 pm when Lance got home from his 12 hour shift, I decided we had to get out! It was 5:30 pm and all my ideas for dinner were foiled with the fact that no matter what I thought of, I was missing a key ingredient (or time anyway before the ravenous beasts would begin crying for food [dang cute beasts, I might add]). So, against my better judgment, I announced we would be going to McD's playland. Home of the gazillion bacteria, viruses and other nasties that abound there. Oh, how that place grosses me out but atleast, I thought, I would be able to eat my favorite Chicken Caesar salad in peace. And the kids would be happy with Chicken and fries (I will mourn the day that I will no longer be able to buy one combo meal to feed 3 kids).

Finally, after packing up tissues, hand sanitizer, wipes, baby cereal, bibs, and miraculously finding everyone a pair of socks and shoes we were ready to go. I find that when taking all 4 kids out alone I have to do a great deal of mental preparation. I know it may sound stupid - but my best ammo for preventing a disaster is to mentally go through the entire outing first in my head and then repeat it to the munchkins... and then again .... and again... and then test them ... and then ask what comes next. And who will be holding Emory's hand? And what will we do when mama calls? Yes, that's right we will come quickly [you know, when my mother calls me, quickly I'll obey...] So this was the plan:

We go to the playland, everyone takes off their shoes, but the socks stay on (did I mention that place grosses me out!?!). You all play nicely, help Emory around. Yes, that's right Adelle, we have to do that because last time Emory was little and got stuck and cried and cried until I could finally hunt you down to go help her. Okay. Mom and Kalem will go get the food. When we come back everyone comes to the table and does NOT touch any food until the hand sanitizer has made its rounds. Then you eat, and go play some more, so mom can eat. Capeesh?

I think we were good until that point. Or atleast until the point that Adelle came running to the table, grabbed some napkins, and started to dash back to the playland. Now, most people would not have given it a second thought, but when you are a mom you know that means somethin' is goin' down. Kids don't just randomly desire to carry napkins with them on a McDonald's playland. So I grab her asking what the napkins are for. And very matter-of-factedly (is that a word?) she states, "Emory's got poo on her hand." What??? She said it like that's what you would expect to find on every playland (although, I guess I can't entirely dispute that). So I demand that she go bring Emory down right now! Thank goodness Adelle is an obedient child. A few seconds later Emory emerges holding out her hand to show me her treasure. I think I would have hurled right then and there if it hadn't been for the fact that I was half worried that it had come from her. Even if she is potty-trained, it's only been in the last few months, and heck, she's only 2. So with Kalem in one arm and miss poopie-hand in the other I order everyone to follow me to the restroom. (Thank goodness poop can hold Talmage's attention - well, I guess that's not always true - but that's a post for another day :) )

So long story short, we get to the bathroom to find that Emory is clean (well, her bum anyway - kinda gross to think that her bum was cleaner than her hands); Talmage is mortified to find that he used the women's restroom earlier when I took him to the bathroom, which I was doing a very good job of covering up until some other boys followed us and told him he was entering the girls' bathroom (apparently when I ordered everyone to the restroom they thought that meant them, too, LOL); and Adelle gives me the lowdown on the poo. At this point, I really am ready to hurl b/c that means that some other child's feces is on my child's hand! And who knows how many other kids have touched it and then walked around touching everything else. Eww, eww, eww.

And to top it off, while waiting in line to tell an employee about the dump in the playland some woman comes up behind us and starts telling Adelle that she loves her and begins hugging her! It was obvious that she had some mental disabilities but by that point, I was so done with McDonald's. I grabbed our stuff and we high-tailed it out of there. So there you have it... a day in the life.....

Did I mention I will never be going to another McDonald's playland in my life?

On a happy note, we had family pictures done last Monday by the very sweet and talented Wendy Whitacre of Blue Lily Photo. I can't post any pictures as I do not have the rights to them yet, but you can go to her blog to see them. I was so stressed about the whole session - what to have everyone wear, making sure the kids were in a good mood, getting them to be natural and not cheez so bad for the camera. Wendy was great and I am still amazed that she was able to get so many great shots in one 30 minute session. Hopefully, I will be able to post more in the next few weeks!